I’m still hearing from people how much they enjoyed the posts on how the Dearliest and I met, and I’ve had thoughts for a while on a few extra stories to share.
In Level 1 I mentioned a list of requirements and preferences when it came to a relationship with a guy. I started it at first as a joke (because I was never getting married, you know), and there were only three things on it.
“A Christian, speaks English, taller than me.”
Then I entered college, observed all kinds of young men, and realized that even if I didn’t want to date, a list would be a good idea. A couple of the guys who asked me out genuinely wanted to know why I said no. I wanted to have more of an answer than, “I’m here to learn, not date.” The List helped me flesh out why certain character qualities and habits were important to me…and why I found some repulsive.
Then I met a guy I actually came to care about. The problem was, he didn’t meet even half the things on my list including the #1 most important thing to me. Still, I started revising the list to make allowances, and when you start compromising on character, it never ends well.
When the whole situation finally ended, my list became twice as long as it had been. I’d learned there were some things I needed. And some things I couldn’t tolerate. A co-worker chided me once for having it at all. I bit my tongue and didn’t point out that his lack of one hadn’t helped him any. Instead I simply mentioned I used it to avoid certain things, not to actively seek “the non-existent perfect man” or however he phrased it.
The List didn’t change again. There was a young man who came close once, but after a few months I had to acknowledge that “close” wasn’t enough. It was Providential because less than 6 months later the Dearliest entered my life, and it wasn’t long before I realized he met the List completely.
The rest, as they say, is history.
(somewhat abridged, because this is a public blog and all)